Mumbai: 1 in 4 (25%) Indians admit they would feel lonely or left out and self-conscious if they don’t have a date. As humans we all crave connections. This search of finding meaningful lasting connections and companionship, in the midst of our busy social lives, sometimes can lead to weariness. In India, daters also find themselves dealing with various pressures – societal, familial, and sometimes self-inflicted – to find a partner, especially within a specific timeframe. Per Bumble’s latest study, in the last year, 21% of people in Bengaluru have felt FOMO (fear of missing out) seeing other people around them in relationships.
Bumble’s recent study found that 49% of Bengaluru daters took a break from dating in the last year because of busy schedules with work or other commitments whereas 42% of people in Bengaluru claimed they needed time to focus on themselves before dating again after a pause. In fact, 48% of respondents from Bengaluru said that finding interesting people or someone who meets their standards or expectations or has shared interests, has led or can lead to dating again after a pause.
Looking ahead in 2023, Bumble encourages daters to check in with themselves, hit the reset button and embrace the authenti-date concept in the new year. ‘Authenti-date’, a new dating term coined by the popular dating app, refers to reflecting and expressing your most authentic and true self, a more balanced approach to dating, one that works for you to find genuinely meaningful connections. It’s about showing your true and unique self so that you can have the best chance of finding someone on the same page as them.
“Prioritising ourselves and understanding what we seek from dating is important. If you feel overwhelmed and you’re not getting your desired result from daily swiping, try being more intentional in how you use Bumble. For example, choose allocated hours or days in a week or if you want to take a pause, you can also use Bumble’s Snooze Mode feature that lets you set an away status so that your connections can see you’re taking a pause and come back with renewed energy and intent.
Ultimately, dating should be fun! In 2023, by embracing ‘Authenti-date’ and reflecting your most authentic, true self, you have the best chance of finding someone on the same page as you, leading to genuinely meaningful connections. Authenti-date is about showing the real you to the world so that others get to know and like you for who you are! We want to empower people to do what’s right for them, and date on their own terms and pace”, said Samarpita Samaddar, India Communications Director, Bumble.
How do you hit the reset button to embrace dating in 2023? Here are 5-step resolution from Shahzeen Shivdasani, Bumble’s relationship expert, to make your dating journey across stages more fulfilling:
How do you hit the reset button to embrace dating in 2023? Here are 5-step resolution from Shahzeen Shivdasani, Bumble’s relationship expert, to help you reignite your dating journey:
Be mindful when you’re believing anxious assumptions. When you have a bad experience on a date or while you’re having a conversation with someone new, it might be easy to conclude you’ll just never find your person, which can lead to burn out. Remember that sometimes it’s not the experience itself that’s the root of the issue, but rather what we make of the experience.
You come first. Prioritise yourself and set boundaries. Reflecting on what has and hasn’t worked from prior dating experiences, at the very start, can be helpful in deciding how and in what way you want to get to know someone new. Often, we tend to overthink their every move in the beginning, instead, go with the flow and try enjoying your conversations as you begin to get to know someone.
Identify what’s zapping your energy. Often when we feel overwhelmed, we might feel like a major upheaval is in order, such as pulling the plug on dating. A big pivot isn’t always the best course of action, though. Rather, it’s important to get clear on the specific aspects of dating that might be contributing to weariness. For example, ask yourself if the amount of time you are investing, or if it’s the prep you put into getting ready for the date that feels unfulfilling. Perhaps it’s the predictability of the types of dates you’re going on (dinner, drinks, repeat) or people you’re engaging with aren’t right for you. Be clear about what part of dating is unfulfilling, then create a plan to address it. Maybe that means switching up your typical date night routine, being more selective (or less selective!) about who you’re connecting with. If you usually go on dates at the same or similar restaurants, and you feel that this way hasn’t worked for you, try something new. Perhaps switch up with creative IRL date ideas.
Focus on your “why?” Dating often causes us to dwell on the question, “Am I desirable?” Rather than focusing on pleasing others, try turning that phrase around and instead ask yourself what it is YOU desire. Though you may be dating to find your life partner(s), there are often additional motivators you may not have considered. Are you dating for new romantic experiences? To meet people who inspire you? Exploring these alternative goals can allow you to shift how you experience the path toward ultimately finding the connections that you’re looking for.
Date at your own pace. The bottom line is that finding someone you connect with isn’t always easy, building a lasting relationship can be difficult, and sustaining that bond takes lots of work. Remember that anything worth having takes effort and time, so give yourself space and lots of grace as you navigate these waters. Ultimately, don’t forget to have fun!